When God sees someone abusing his wife, betraying her husband, corrupting a child, or otherwise perpetrating injustice, it makes him mad. Anger is the healthy response of a holy and moral God to the unholy and immoral deeds we perpetrate against one another.
Some theories of social justice and the spiritual life are modeled more on Aristotle's god - the "Unmoved Mover" - than the God we know in Jesus. When thousands are starving because of ethnic cleansing in Darfur, homeless because of recent flooding, or being aborted and abused, anyone who can be "unmoved" is worshiping Aristotle's impersonal god who is without feeling.
Anyone who knows the God revealed by Jesus of Nazareth has to feel something of God's outrage at the sight of innocent children suffering. He feels seething anger over the sordid things human beings do to one another. He should be enraged. Cry out for justice to be established.
"Give me 100 people who love God and hate sin," said John Wesley, who founded the Methodist Church, "and we will turn the world upside down for Christ!" Dr. Jack Arnold quoted that line from Wesley in the final sermon he preached in January 2005 - collapsing and dying in his pulpit as he moved to its conclusion - and said, "I think I could find 100 men and women who love Christ in America, but I am not sure I could find 100 men and women in America that hate sin." I have been haunted by that line since reading it. I fear he is correct.
I fear we are so sophisticated and unmoved by evil that it doesn't make us angry. We'd rather do lists and observe rituals. We prefer to fight our church battles over whose doctrine is sounder than to follow Jesus into unpleasant places for the sake of caring about prisoners, prostitutes, and pushers.
Is there a parent reading this who would not be enraged at the person who seduced his daughter or hooked her son on cocaine? Is there anyone so cold and indifferent to the welfare of your own flesh and blood that you would be "unmoved" that your child has thrown away innocence? Made memories that will haunt and terrify for the rest of life? If you could receive such news with the calm of a statue, it is only because you have a heart of stone!
God has a tender heart that is passionate for his sons and daughters. If anyone has caused you to think that anger or getting mad is a wrong-headed thing for Christians, rethink that notion.
And get mad about something.
-- Rubel Shelly --
I was sent this article this morning after sending out a few emails just crying out with frustration to those who are near my heart. I am so trying to sort out what you do with the anger at watching so much of this.
I felt myself starting to get really angry a couple weeks ago when one of our interns Kalie was in the hospital downtown to have her appendix removed. I would be going back and forth from the hospital and every night I would see a young gal standing out there prostituting herself...no doubt for food to feed her family. I felt so mad. Mad for her not mad at her.
Then I watched 5 little boys, that I love like my own, climb up into my car and scour it for any sort of food we may have in there, after we'd already given them bags of food. They were so hungry.
I was so angry as I stood and watched. Angry at me. Angry at all of us. Angry at a society that convinces us the "right" thing to do is grow our 401K and save so that when we die we can have A LOT of money to give to our children, so that they can save and put away into their 401K and make sure they save enough to give to their children.
While just a 6 hour plane ride away mother's are watching their children die, with absolutely nothing to give to them in that moment. Does anyone see a vicious cycle that is wrong here??
I'm afraid that sometimes it's not just the perpetrator doing nasty bad things that perpetuates injustice. I'm afraid that we perpetuate it too.
Mom and dad, please know that I am as serious as I have ever been in my life right now. I don't want your money when your time on this earth is over. I will have been grateful for everything you have given me on this earth, but I will not need your pocketbook to treasure every one of those memories. Please spend my share now. You give it to somebody who today has nothing and has no hope of ever getting to save a penny, because they live day to day attempting to survive. You trust God to take care of me when you're gone, because He will. He always does. You hear me shout a loud thank you for loving me and for teaching me that God is in control of this life. I know that sometimes Him being in control has required some serious sacrifice from you. I know He'll have rewards waiting in Heaven for that. I'm sorry that anyone has ever attempted to make you think that to be good parents you owed us that. You do NOT owe me that. I would far rather know that while you were here you attempted to give of yourself and you left with nothing to pass on then that you saved to pass something on for my sake. So excuse yourself from that burden and live giving to those things that you're angry enough about to do something. That will make me prouder than any paycheck at the end of your days. Shame on us. Shame on all of us.
Maybe if we just start somewhere. Maybe getting angry enough to see it is a start.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Got to see my boys on Saturday...always bittersweet right now. Francisco told me numerous times that he was ready to come back to Casa de Esperanza. Rip this heart out!! We stayed just like this for much of the few hours we spent with them. He gave me "mountain of kisses" on my cheek and hugged the stuffin's out of me.
We miss each other soooooooooooooooo much. Pray for us please!!
Blessings on your day.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Fab Five...
Well as most all of you know by now, tomorrow will mark 3 weeks ago that things significantly changed around Casa and within the family God has built here within these walls.
When Casa officially opened in June of 2006 our first babies to enter these halls were five brothers whose father was in prison for alleged homicide and whose mother was unable to feed them. Essentially they were taken into government care because they were starving and needed help to be able to live.
In God's divine wisdom and providence, He allowed them to call this home. I will never forget the day we walked into the room at Casitas to decide whether this was the case we were going to take or not and Marvin was sitting at the table and just started grinning from ear to ear. That was it. Karen and I were both done and so we looked at each other like yep think we're gonna have to take them.
Everyday since then has been filled with adventures...sometimes hilarious, sometimes tearful, sometimes just plain fun. It has been quite a journey.
I remember the first week they came, Antonio hated white people. :) He cried non stop and we wondered if he would ever stop. To watch him smile and giggle and love on us now is GOOD stuff. He's come a long way baby.
Mario...awww sweet Mario, he hit and kicked and screamed and cried and pulled our hair, and Karen and I would sit on the floor with him for hours during the first few months reminding him that we loved him and that he was going to be ok. He was so angry. To watch him at peace now singing his little heart out, he loves to sing, is God's grace and nothing less.
Francisco -- yep can't go there today. I'll post a part 2 about these sweet boys tomorrow and continue to fill you in over the next few days.
Seems appropriate to celebrate God's faithfulness to us and to them and to acknowledge the precious journey God led us on together.
My momma's heart aches for them in ways I never knew existed...but I would not give up one moment of this ache not a single moment if it meant that I had to give up a single minute of getting to live with them and love and be loved by them. It has changed me in a billion ways and it was one of life's greatest privileges to be able to attempt to serve them for a time.
Please pray for them and for us as we all transition. We all miss each other. The kids bring it up often and the boys call frequently wanting to just touch base and remember we're here and we're ok.
As much as it hurts, I like it that there's an ache and an empty spot. I think it serves as a reminder that we all loved deeply. That God created something here that meant something to all of us. That He was present and that He melded us all into a family no matter how hodge podge it looked and so I'll bear the ache with a sense of gratitude and pride that I was blessed to be a part of any of this. That God would invite us into something so sacred is beyond humbling.
We love you all and are strengthened by your prayers and support. Blessings on you this day!!
When Casa officially opened in June of 2006 our first babies to enter these halls were five brothers whose father was in prison for alleged homicide and whose mother was unable to feed them. Essentially they were taken into government care because they were starving and needed help to be able to live.
In God's divine wisdom and providence, He allowed them to call this home. I will never forget the day we walked into the room at Casitas to decide whether this was the case we were going to take or not and Marvin was sitting at the table and just started grinning from ear to ear. That was it. Karen and I were both done and so we looked at each other like yep think we're gonna have to take them.
Everyday since then has been filled with adventures...sometimes hilarious, sometimes tearful, sometimes just plain fun. It has been quite a journey.
I remember the first week they came, Antonio hated white people. :) He cried non stop and we wondered if he would ever stop. To watch him smile and giggle and love on us now is GOOD stuff. He's come a long way baby.
Mario...awww sweet Mario, he hit and kicked and screamed and cried and pulled our hair, and Karen and I would sit on the floor with him for hours during the first few months reminding him that we loved him and that he was going to be ok. He was so angry. To watch him at peace now singing his little heart out, he loves to sing, is God's grace and nothing less.
Francisco -- yep can't go there today. I'll post a part 2 about these sweet boys tomorrow and continue to fill you in over the next few days.
Seems appropriate to celebrate God's faithfulness to us and to them and to acknowledge the precious journey God led us on together.
My momma's heart aches for them in ways I never knew existed...but I would not give up one moment of this ache not a single moment if it meant that I had to give up a single minute of getting to live with them and love and be loved by them. It has changed me in a billion ways and it was one of life's greatest privileges to be able to attempt to serve them for a time.
Please pray for them and for us as we all transition. We all miss each other. The kids bring it up often and the boys call frequently wanting to just touch base and remember we're here and we're ok.
As much as it hurts, I like it that there's an ache and an empty spot. I think it serves as a reminder that we all loved deeply. That God created something here that meant something to all of us. That He was present and that He melded us all into a family no matter how hodge podge it looked and so I'll bear the ache with a sense of gratitude and pride that I was blessed to be a part of any of this. That God would invite us into something so sacred is beyond humbling.
We love you all and are strengthened by your prayers and support. Blessings on you this day!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...
Today is my parents ??? anniversary. Pretty sure it's like 36, who knows I lost count. It's a long stinking time that's all I know.
I'm 31 and I think they were married for several years before I came along, so yeah 36 sounds about right...I could be wrong.
Anyway that is so very much not the point...the point is that all of my life growing up I had the privilege of living in a home with parents who loved each other. You know those kind of parents where you make YUCK noises when they walk in and kiss each other when you're little and then grow up and realize how tremendously grateful you are that they just really like doing life together.
I know there have been plenty of moments when one or both of them could have given up cause times were hard, but they didn't. They held on through times that were difficult, when they had no idea how to parent these crazy kids God entrusted to them, through times when our family was hurting, through times when it would have been easier honestly to quit sometimes.
I know now at 31 what a gift it is to be able to go home to one house where mom and dad still live. Not just live but live in love with each other still after so many years and experiences together.
I love you guys. Happy Anniversary. Thank you for loving each other and allowing us to grow up knowing you did.
I'm 31 and I think they were married for several years before I came along, so yeah 36 sounds about right...I could be wrong.
Anyway that is so very much not the point...the point is that all of my life growing up I had the privilege of living in a home with parents who loved each other. You know those kind of parents where you make YUCK noises when they walk in and kiss each other when you're little and then grow up and realize how tremendously grateful you are that they just really like doing life together.
I know there have been plenty of moments when one or both of them could have given up cause times were hard, but they didn't. They held on through times that were difficult, when they had no idea how to parent these crazy kids God entrusted to them, through times when our family was hurting, through times when it would have been easier honestly to quit sometimes.
I know now at 31 what a gift it is to be able to go home to one house where mom and dad still live. Not just live but live in love with each other still after so many years and experiences together.
I love you guys. Happy Anniversary. Thank you for loving each other and allowing us to grow up knowing you did.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA GROSE...
Not long ago, while on a retreat with some precious folks, I was asked to spend some time journaling and taking some time to reflect and be quiet before God. One of the questions we were asked to ponder was...consider the greatest gifts of grace God has given you and list the top 5.
Truth be known, the question merited some serious contemplation because we are talking about the 5 greatest gifts of grace to your world. HUGE!! I don't know about you but in light of being given FAR beyond anything I deserve choosing five of those seemed pretty significant.
So I went through the list of blessings and settled on the phrase "gifts of grace." While I have been given so much, there have been a few tremendously significant things that have spoken grace to me unlike anything else ever has.
Getting to walk out a calling that is SO much bigger than me and live out dreams with God here in Honduras is high on my list. I know I should have been disqualified from EVER getting to do anything like this. I should have been the last one chosen, and yet, here I am in a country with people I love supernaturally and children who have become my own and as I stand back one word comes to mind...grace, nothing but God's gracious kindness to this girls life.
There are some other things on the list, which would take way too many words to put on this blog, so for today I'll focus on one person that has spoken grace into my life and reminds me often that God's goodness is abundant.
Somewhere near the top of my list I had to make, right under my salvation and walking righteous with God because of the blood of His Son, was the name of this dear one and the relationship that we are privileged to share. At a time in my life when I had just failed at most everything and was rock bottom in a lot of ways, God divinely appointed this lady a place in my life and I had no idea all that would come to mean.
Truth is by all forms of logic she should have given up and not paid any attention to my messed up self. In terms of the wisdom this world gives I was in many ways a hopeless cause and a rebel in all forms of the word. I had decided at that time in life that I was done with God and fed up with religion and was tired of hearing about what I should do and watching next to no one do it. I was angry and hard and failing...
She believed when I couldn't, prayed when I wouldn't, listened for hours while I questioned and vented, loved when I didn't receive or return it well, made time in her tremendously busy schedule to drive to Athens to meet me for lunch and invest into my world, she was the hands of Christ, the heart of Him and somwhere in the middle of all of that, I caught her passion for Christ and I felt His love.
So many people have been such a BIG part of my faith journey, but if I had to pick one that was grace personified, she's it.
She reached out and believed when I didn't deserve it and nothing logical merited it. She just doesn't operate out of logic. She's got a Jesus heart and that made her heart move toward this one that needed His love and she decided to be a conduit of that.
Since then, she's modeled for these eyes a faith that moves mountains while abiding in Him. She has been tender in moments when my heart has been broken and tough as nails in moments when my stubborn will was keeping me from Him. She's prayed me through doing ministry here and almost everyday I open my email to a note from her that encourages me to chase His heart with everything in me.
So today on your birthday dear one, may you be abundantly blessed, wrapped up in Him...may He honor you beyond your wildest imagination for all you've invested in me, and may He thank you in ways I'm not able for the difference you've made in my life.
I am so grateful for this day...when God allowed your life a place in this world, so that one day your heart and life might bump into mine and change the course of my path forever.
Thank you for loving Him the way you do. My life is one among many who have been changed by watching.
Happy Birthday.
And Amen...
May God bless you with discomfort…
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger…
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears…
To shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection,starvation and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
And turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness…
To believe that you can make a difference in this world.
So that you can do What others claim cannot be done.
Amen
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger…
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears…
To shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection,starvation and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
And turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness…
To believe that you can make a difference in this world.
So that you can do What others claim cannot be done.
Amen
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Pray Saints...
I can not even imagine...but I know that they could use an army of praying people to hold them up. I read this last night before bed and just couldn't wrap my head around it. Pray on!!
From Fox News -
NASHVILLE, Tenn. —
The 5-year-old daughter of contemporary Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman was struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle driven by her brother, authorities said.
The girl, Maria, was hit in a driveway on the family residence Wednesday afternoon by a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by her teenage brother, said Laura McPherson, a spokesman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol. McPherson said no charges are expected.
"It looks like a tragic accident," she said.
She said several members of the Chapman family witnessed the accident, which happened in Williamson County just south of Nashville. The brother apparently did not see the little girl, McPherson said.
She did not have the name or exact age of the brother, only that he is an older teenager.The girl died later at Vanderbilt Medical Center, hospital spokeswoman Laurie Holloway said.
Chapman, originally from Paducah, Ky., and his wife have promoted international adoption and have three daughters from China, including Maria.
Chapman has won five Grammy awards and 51 Dove awards from the Gospel Music Association.The singer's Web site said that Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, were persuaded by their oldest daughter to adopt a girl from China.
The experience led the family to adopt two more children and create Shaohannah's Hope, a foundation and ministry to financially assist thousands of couples in adoption.The Chapmans did missionary work at Chinese orphanages in 2006 and 2007, according to the Web site."After our first trip to China, my wife and I knew our lives were changing — our eyes and hearts were opening to how big God really is, and we have wanted to experience more of that," Chapman says on the Web site. "We've really wondered whether or not we should just go to China and stay there. But I don't think so. I believe God is saying, 'I want you to go, get your heart broken, your eyes opened, and then take this story back to the church in America and around the world."'
Chapman also has released a book about being a father entitled "Cinderella: The Love of Daddy and his Princess."
From Fox News -
NASHVILLE, Tenn. —
The 5-year-old daughter of contemporary Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman was struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle driven by her brother, authorities said.
The girl, Maria, was hit in a driveway on the family residence Wednesday afternoon by a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by her teenage brother, said Laura McPherson, a spokesman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol. McPherson said no charges are expected.
"It looks like a tragic accident," she said.
She said several members of the Chapman family witnessed the accident, which happened in Williamson County just south of Nashville. The brother apparently did not see the little girl, McPherson said.
She did not have the name or exact age of the brother, only that he is an older teenager.The girl died later at Vanderbilt Medical Center, hospital spokeswoman Laurie Holloway said.
Chapman, originally from Paducah, Ky., and his wife have promoted international adoption and have three daughters from China, including Maria.
Chapman has won five Grammy awards and 51 Dove awards from the Gospel Music Association.The singer's Web site said that Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, were persuaded by their oldest daughter to adopt a girl from China.
The experience led the family to adopt two more children and create Shaohannah's Hope, a foundation and ministry to financially assist thousands of couples in adoption.The Chapmans did missionary work at Chinese orphanages in 2006 and 2007, according to the Web site."After our first trip to China, my wife and I knew our lives were changing — our eyes and hearts were opening to how big God really is, and we have wanted to experience more of that," Chapman says on the Web site. "We've really wondered whether or not we should just go to China and stay there. But I don't think so. I believe God is saying, 'I want you to go, get your heart broken, your eyes opened, and then take this story back to the church in America and around the world."'
Chapman also has released a book about being a father entitled "Cinderella: The Love of Daddy and his Princess."
Saturday, May 10, 2008
I MISS MY KIDS...
Well mother's day is tomorrow and while I am so incredibly grateful to be here with my mom and celebrating with her this year...I also miss my kiddo's. Pretty honest statement that when you choose to move away and do mission work that your heart forever lives in two places. Part here, part there, forever and always. That's hard to explain other than to say that when you choose to leave all those you love, you don't do that part way, God creates within you an all or nothing kind of going. While your family and friends remain and you miss them so deeply, you know you were sent and asked to go to invite those folks into your heart as well and so God births another family for you there. I am grateful to my toes for both.
Today though I just need to take a moment to write a note to the ones who call me "Mami" with a joy and exuberance that warms you all over. The ones who want my shoulder to cry on when they're hurt. The ones who want me to lay down with them at night and sing to them and pray with them. The ones who hug the stuffin's out of me and it reaches my soul. The ones whose beds I've now knelt beside and begged the demons to flee and whose bedframes I have touched on a thousand occasions and asked God's Spirit to hover over. The ones who've sat on my lap or kissed my cheek or grabbed my hand and reeled this girls heart in forever.
My dear ones,
Though you won't be able to read this in English (perhaps Mami Ashley or Mami Karen) will read it to you, or maybe we'll print a copy and read it to you someday when you're older and can understand this better.
I just wanted you to hear today that I love being your Mami. I love when you climb up on my lap and just want to sit there cause it feels safe. I love when you smile at me and tell me you love me. I love when you hold my hand because you just want to touch mami. I love it when we play the "I love you more" game and you finish with your I love you to the moon and back in your little Spanish accents. I love singing Jesus loves me with you. I love our trips to town when it's just you and I and we talk about things that matter to you. I love when you beg to sleep with Mami and we lay there before we fall to sleep and you just chatter while we snuggle. (those are some of my favorite times on earth). I love laughing with you. I love the moments when God allows me to pray with you and to hear your pure little hearts pray. I love to watch you praise Him when you sing with all of your hearts. I love to watch you being kind to the others that God has placed into our "Casa family." I love when you bring home your papers from school and want me to have them. I love when you ask me repeatedly to sit with you at lunch or dinner or anytime in between. I love your hugs. I love your mountain of kisses game when you cover my cheek with your kisses. I love doing life with you and watching you grow and change and become the people God is intending for you to be.
While I'm away from you now and when I'm away from you in the future you need to know that a day will NOT pass when I don't feel so incredibly proud to play the part in your life of "Mami Jenny." When I get to Heaven after I have thanked Jesus for my salvation, I will thank Him for letting me be your momma when you needed one, and for using your sweet little lives to touch places in my soul I didn't know existed. You have changed me.
You are precious to my heart and you are forever as close as my heartbeat and my prayers.
Mami Jenny
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF YOU WHO PLAY THE ROLE OF BIRTH MOTHER OR THE ROLE OF MOTHER TO A HEART THAT NEEDS ONE. I'M FIRMLY CONVINCED NOW THAT THERE ARE MOTHER'S IN THIS WORLD WHO DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO THEIR CHILDREN BUT LOVE THEM JUST THE SAME. THAT IS A GOD GIVEN GIFT AND JUST AS PRECIOUS. CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED AS YOU ARE A BLESSING MOMMA'S!!
Today though I just need to take a moment to write a note to the ones who call me "Mami" with a joy and exuberance that warms you all over. The ones who want my shoulder to cry on when they're hurt. The ones who want me to lay down with them at night and sing to them and pray with them. The ones who hug the stuffin's out of me and it reaches my soul. The ones whose beds I've now knelt beside and begged the demons to flee and whose bedframes I have touched on a thousand occasions and asked God's Spirit to hover over. The ones who've sat on my lap or kissed my cheek or grabbed my hand and reeled this girls heart in forever.
My dear ones,
Though you won't be able to read this in English (perhaps Mami Ashley or Mami Karen) will read it to you, or maybe we'll print a copy and read it to you someday when you're older and can understand this better.
I just wanted you to hear today that I love being your Mami. I love when you climb up on my lap and just want to sit there cause it feels safe. I love when you smile at me and tell me you love me. I love when you hold my hand because you just want to touch mami. I love it when we play the "I love you more" game and you finish with your I love you to the moon and back in your little Spanish accents. I love singing Jesus loves me with you. I love our trips to town when it's just you and I and we talk about things that matter to you. I love when you beg to sleep with Mami and we lay there before we fall to sleep and you just chatter while we snuggle. (those are some of my favorite times on earth). I love laughing with you. I love the moments when God allows me to pray with you and to hear your pure little hearts pray. I love to watch you praise Him when you sing with all of your hearts. I love to watch you being kind to the others that God has placed into our "Casa family." I love when you bring home your papers from school and want me to have them. I love when you ask me repeatedly to sit with you at lunch or dinner or anytime in between. I love your hugs. I love your mountain of kisses game when you cover my cheek with your kisses. I love doing life with you and watching you grow and change and become the people God is intending for you to be.
While I'm away from you now and when I'm away from you in the future you need to know that a day will NOT pass when I don't feel so incredibly proud to play the part in your life of "Mami Jenny." When I get to Heaven after I have thanked Jesus for my salvation, I will thank Him for letting me be your momma when you needed one, and for using your sweet little lives to touch places in my soul I didn't know existed. You have changed me.
You are precious to my heart and you are forever as close as my heartbeat and my prayers.
Mami Jenny
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF YOU WHO PLAY THE ROLE OF BIRTH MOTHER OR THE ROLE OF MOTHER TO A HEART THAT NEEDS ONE. I'M FIRMLY CONVINCED NOW THAT THERE ARE MOTHER'S IN THIS WORLD WHO DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO THEIR CHILDREN BUT LOVE THEM JUST THE SAME. THAT IS A GOD GIVEN GIFT AND JUST AS PRECIOUS. CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED AS YOU ARE A BLESSING MOMMA'S!!
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