Well I've spent a couple weeks at home just living life near some folks I love a bunch and it has been GOOD for this girls heart. I've sat beside some of the people who remind me without saying a word who I really want to be. I've spent lots of time with my Bible open and my hand just caressing the page as I have sought God in ways different than I ever have before. I've rested. I've read. I've journaled. I've watched the sun rise and I've watched it set. I've listened to the birds make noises and the trees rustle and it has been sacred time.
Today I am going to a Women of Faith Conference in Columbus. As God would have it, some dear saint, has donated a ticket so I can go and be a part of that. I'm going ALL by myself, (I have NEVER done that before and would never have wanted to) but this year it sounded exactly like what I needed to do. Just Him and I. Will sit in a chair all by myself and just listen to Him and soak.
I am relishing in my time with Him right now. Felt like I was parched from the lack of doing so over the past couple of months. I don't know if any of you can relate, but I'm guessing something in that could resonate with a time in your life. Seems as though there are some times in life when you get no heart relief except through those times with Him and Him only. I'm a people girl to the hilt and so it's usually not difficult for me to just feel Him in the middle of all my favorite folks and give me a church setting with whole bunches of people loving Him and I'm in Heaven. Not so right now. It's completely different. I want Him, my Bible, a space in the quiet where I can just hear Him and be with Him. I thought something was really wrong and now I'm just starting to feel like it's way sweet time with Him.
He is faithful. He continues to be so incredibly faithful! I just want to encourage you that the God of the universe can handle your moments of doubt, your months of distance, your questions, your brokenness, your bitterness, your rebellion. All of it. Your God knows how to handle your heart and all that is within it.
I find peace there today! May you do the same.
Blessings abounding on you this day.
2 comments:
Hey you.. haven't even read this post, just saw you were in the same country as me, so phone me okay?? :)
Jen, Do not fear...Embrace it, let the darkness wrap it's self around you and experience the dark night of the soul. God is with you and will bring you through closer to Him and knowing Him better and deeper.
These times draw us into intimate times with our God that make us His in ways only solitude can. I am mindful of you as you walk this part of your journey. Love you!
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