His Body

I'm feeling this sort of relief this morning as though God thought it time to help me put a name to this heaviness I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks. I am a processor and so I always want to know what that crummy feeling is and why it is there and sometimes in an effort to figure that out I drive myself absolutely nuts. Anyone been there? It's like you can't deal with it until you name it. So I'm naming it today.

I'm gonna miss being the body with these folks. There it is in it's simplest form. I've stated it in lots of ways that just didn't seem to do justice. This encapsulates it well I think.

Here's the crux of the heart of it. For the last 5 years I have caught a holy glimpse into something that sometimes becomes incredibly mundane as a part of our "Christianese", and today I'm realizing what a terrific gift it has been. I've seen what it means to be a part of the body. Now let me confess that I get as frustrated as anyone about the ways we play church sometimes and I've voiced lots of my frustrations (not necessarily a statement I'm proud to make). I've at times been cynical and pessimistic. Leaving this place in 105 days has put some things into perspective though I must say. Because as I'm looking at the past 5 years and reflecting on some things, these are the things that are coming to mind.

We've laughed together. We've cried together. We have served others together. We've stood beside one another looking at hurting impoverished children and wept together. We've been undone together (Sherman). We've sat around a bible study circle with 9 other women weekly for the past two years and we've been vulnerable and real with one another. We've showed up when a need was there. We've taken our eyes off of ourselves to see the pain of another and attempt to be Jesus' hands and feet in response to it. We've walked together through struggles that were DIFFICULT at best. We've confessed and we've repented in the presence of one another. I just went forward a couple months ago to ask for prayers about this going to Honduras stuff and the strength to walk this out and was within seconds surrounded by people who loved me who sat with me and cried with me up there on what is often a lonely front pew. We've spent time doing life together. I've been mentored and encouraged by godly older women. We've had conversations that were way deep over cups of tea that will forever be etched in my mind because wisdom from Heaven was shared. We have prayed real prayers together that come from the depths of our hearts and we've rejoiced in tears as some of them came true, as if the prayers had become ours and not yours or theirs. The prayers that have answers we continue to wait upon we've banded together in armies of prayer and continue to battle together from our knees. We've worshipped in corporate worship together and we've worshipped together while riding in our cars or in our homes. We've sought God's face together and are so much richer because of it. And that's just the beginning of the list.

We've done life together. Not the Sunday come in and look good (while we all still have moments of doing that) but God in His grace and mercy has granted us the opportunity to have something deeper than Sunday morning fellowship. I think partly due to the fact that I am young and single I've been invited into people's homes often for meals and "family" time. It's given me such neat opportunities to do life with so many folks. I treasure the loving God in the middle of doing life times more than any others.

I know that the body of Christ exists all over this world and in a few years I pray I'll be telling you the same things about folks in Honduras that I am able to "do life" with, and I pray that there will be other seeking hurting souls who come in looking for a home that you wrap your arms and your hearts around so that they may come to know and love Christ and get the privilege and honor of doing life with this body. For right now though I'm gonna miss doing life and being the body with you guys. Thank you for your arms and your feet and your hearts and your hands and your minds and all that you've offered in His name to my life. Maybe even more touching than those things you've added to my life however, has been the joy I have been able to experience as I've watched you give those things away to others. I stand in tears and beam with pride sometimes at the way you give yourselves away and compel me to do better at doing the same. Your hearts are beautiful and they've touched me in ways you may never ever know. It has been an absolute privilege to begin to learn what it really truly means to be the body of Christ in this world with you. I pray we never ever forget the beauty there is in that alone.

You're precious. I love ya!

Thank you Lord for allowing us to become a part of this family, Your Body, and thank you that though we mess some things up, there are precious moments when we realize that there have been some things You've helped us get right. Thank you for the gift of getting to learn how to be Your body with some really precious people. May we always take what we've learned together and apply it in this world wherever You need us to be. We love you beyond our ability to say so! Amen