Monday, May 21, 2007

Oh Dear...

So yep it's been almost a month, how in the WORLD does that happen?? I wish I had some great story of why I've been deterred in writing a post, it's just that...hmmm...well I don't. It's just that one day on top of another day added to another day happened and busy and meetings and well life happened and I didn't take the time to sit down and write about it because at the time it didn't seem noteworthy I guess. Then it's like you look back and realize how much has happened in a month or so's time and feel as if you ought to catch those people, (those faithful people, who watch for a blog every morning) up on what's going on. Except then you sit down and think oh Heavens there's so much. So how about that for a rambling paragraph....

Well the last that you heard from me we were being wow'd by God's amazing providence and provision over Rudy and Brian and their sweet little lives. We had been amazed at how He had worked all the details out to be able to have them call this home and how we felt that we needed to take our sandals off in Dunkin Donuts because it became "holy ground" in a sense. Who knew, you could get donuts and a good dose of God in that place, I knew I loved it for a reason. I frequent it often still just in case He might want to make another grand appearance :)

I went to meet with the judge today and it is official, Rudy and Brian are moving to Casa. I'll pick them up on Wednesday morning at 11:30 am and they'll be ours for such a time as this. Please know that I write these next words humbled to my knees because I don't deserve this, it is merely God's favor for reasons that I'll never know, but I got to meet their mother today. I watched this beautiful 29 year old woman walk in who has 6 children and lives a life of desperation but who was as warm and tender as anyone I've met. When she walked into the room and I told her my name was Jennifer she hugged the stuffin's out of me. Then with tears in her eyes, she said, you're HER. In the next several minutes she explained to me that for the last year her boys had been telling her about me and how I wanted to help them but she was scared and didn't know who I was or what they were talking about. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said if I would have known it was a children's home, I would have let them come a long time ago. We needed help. She told me that Brian asked her if she would give him a wallet so that he could keep the note that I gave him with my name and phone number on it because he didn't want to lose it. He kept walking around saying, isn't it pretty handwriting mom, isn't it pretty?! The judge told me that a children's home wanted Rudy and Brian to come live there, but I didn't know anything about the people. She said I wanted to come today and make sure that Casa de Esperanza was run by the person that my little boys fell in love with and when you told me your name was Jennifer I knew it was you. Ok so tears...yet again!! It's not that there's anything extraordinary about me, it's just that God gave me the opportunity to connect with these two little hearts and when I had no clue He was working and all seemed hopeless, there He was, preparing the way, being who He is, and allowing this flawed girl to somehow for some reason hold out hope for two little boys.


After we had a meeting in the judge's office, we went to their house to "see" where they had come from and if ever I forget what desperate looks like, I'll go back to remember, cause it's that important. It was destitute. It was a sheet for a door, it was a dirty mattress on a dirt floor, it was a 3 year old watching a 4 month old while the mother was in the city, it was tin covering a floor with holes in it, a staircase with the most wobbly stairs you have ever seen, it was poverty in the form of a mother who could not care for her children. With tears in her eyes in the meeting yesterday she said to me, "I wish there was some other way..." to which I responded, "so do I." I so wish there was some other way. Thought about all the momma's I know who would have their heart ripped out if they must give their children to someone that they barely know so that they could be fed and taken care of.

It was a great reminder day to me of why we do what we do...even while it's soooooooooo far away from our families and people we love so very much. I connected with this sweet woman yesterday and realized that this ministry goes so much further than taking care of children, it's also being kind and befriending a woman who has been looked down upon and who feels has lost most of her dignity. It's attempting to be who Jesus would be to the oppressed, the seemingly forsaken, the impoverished and hurting. It's living out the red letters...

oh God help me please live them out and then give you all the credit!!

That's only part of the story...just from yesterday! God showed up yet again.

As for the rest of the month that I left you out of, well I'll catch you up on that as well. Gonna take several posts in the next few days to cover it. So stay tuned...

4 comments:

Karen Burnfield said...

All I can say is WOW! God is good! All the time! It is apparent that God is definitely working through you and Karen. Just glad that I got to witness it first hand. Love ya.

Lori said...

amazing....thank you for the way you love the moms as well as the children and do not continue the cycle of making her feel like a failure but applauding her very brave decision to let her boys be cared for by someone else.

Anonymous said...

I love that you felt compelled to take your shoes off on the Holy Ground of Dunkin' Donuts, and you are so right that it is! I have been reminded over the last couple of days myself in study of old testament that Holy Ground is not a specific location, it is any place that God's presence is and surely He was at the one place that He knew you would be that night! Keep strong in leaning not on your own understanding, he had the same plan you did, just a different path to accomplish it and more for you, the boys, their mother. This is your Jericho! ~jaime

JSM said...

LOVE those moments when God reassures you why you are where you are, doing what you're doing and reminds you that working in the Kingdom makes all the sacrifices worth it!
love you!
(if you see my friend Jen with Nathan's group tell her hey for me, and I hope she is loving it down there even though I couldn't go with her to experience it!)