Sunday, April 30, 2006


Am reading a book right now called "The Barbarian Way" and it talks about how the call to follow Christ costs nothing less than everything we have and are. Talks about how we have civilized religion and how we have lost so much of what it means along the way.

Has jumped right in with so many other thoughts that have been stirring around in here and I am finding myself wondering why Christianity has stopped being such a revolutionary topic. When did following Christ stop meaning danger and risks and struggles and when did we turn it into meaning safety and security and a cush life? Just thinking about my own view of what following Christ looks and feels like and I'm wondering if I've not bought into an idea that is far different than anything He told us it would be.

Lord please help me to keep questioning and asking and admitting that I don't get it often and that I'm not it even more often. Help me to remember that this walk with You is static and changes as often as You are willing to grow me into something different and better for the sake of Your cause. Continue to make me over and mold within me a new heart that is sold out to You, whatever that may mean. Teach me how to walk in the footsteps and heartprints of the One who was willing to walk a hill stretch out His hands and take my nails.

Friday, April 28, 2006

El Salvador...

Well surprise we're in El Salvador, yep it was a surprise to me too. See these two gals that I really didn't know until this week were sent here by God, I am assured of that, and have blessed our socks off this week. Rachael and Kristin came in on the last few days of our teams second week and are here until Monday. Somewhere around the middle of last week their generous hearts decided that they'd treat us to a trip to El Salvador for a fun girl weekend. So the four of us and Fabiola took the bus on Thursday morning early and are headed back tomorrow afternoon.

Yesterday and today we spent the day at this little beach where people go to surf and today we are back in San Salvador staying in a motel tonight and visiting some friends. The beach was amazing. I love it there, it's one of my favorite places in all the world to be. I just can't deny God's kindness when I'm there. Kindness I know it's an odd word, like I should have chosen power or greatness or some word that describes His "hugeness" and I do see those things there, but I think it's His kindness that touches me. It's like He could have made this world anyway that He wanted to, and yet He went to great lengths to make it beautiful so that we would never forget that He was with us, that He was in control, that He loved us. So many things I think He was trying to convey and still reminds us of. I can't look at a sunset without thinking about God's goodness, His creativity, and the fact that He loves us so much that He designed a sunset just for our sheer pleasure. It's the same for me with the ocean, when I hear the waves or I watch the tide I am just at moments overwhelmed with the kindness of the heart of our God.

Today I watched literally for probably an hour this HUGE rock that is sort of out in the middle of the ocean. The waves came in and hit it over and over and over again. It was just this really cool sight as the wave would hit it and it would make a small waterfall over the side and then it would die off and another would come. I sat there and thought about how those two things didn't seem as though they should be able to exist in the same space. The rock and the waves you know. One way steadfast and immovable and the other in constant motion. They seemed to work against each other almost. The water attempting to continue to flow and the rock standing in it's way, slowing down it's progress.

I watched for a while and found myself with a prayer in my heart that I might turn into that rock, that somewhere through the days of this life and the experiences it brings, that God would produce in me a steadfastness and a consistency that doesn't bend or bow no matter how many times the waves hit, and they do hit don't they??!! For so much of my life, and for so many people, we spend so much time ebbing and flowing with whatever comes. I just am at a place where I desire as much as anything else a conviction and dedication to Jesus where my heart stands firm to what He asks me to do no matter what else may be moving all around me.

It was an awesome object lesson as I watched the waves come in today.

Thanks girls for your generous hearts and for being such a blessing!! May God continue to work in and through you and use your hearts for His glory!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Having a Moment...

Well it's Tuesday night and the group has officially been gone for a few days now and I've had a few days to get over the tears and process through the couple weeks I was privileged to spend with them and reflect over the thousand memories that came about in such a short time when we all worked together for the same purpose. It's amazing how that happens and a team forms. All of us from different places, different histories, different vocations, and some of us even different groups we affiliate with religiously. Yet in this brief encounter the ground is level and we each meet in a place called service. One of the most humbling yet rewarding places I've ever spent time.

It happened this week as I saw 40 some different hearts all bring themselves to this place and offer their hearts and their hands in His service to the precious people of this land. It took on a variety of forms and I witnessed it on a thousand faces, but you served these people and you served them well.
One of the neatest things we were able to do this year was to have a "service day" at a couple different church buildings, where we washed feet and fit them for new shoes, handed out clothes for them and their children, and gave them bags full of food that would feed their family for 2 weeks. All of it was precious, but I'm telling you there was something that happened in that foot washing station that led our hearts straight to the Savior. It humbled you to tears to sit down on that concrete floor and watch these sweet women come through the line who probably walked miles and stood in line for hours to get some food for their families. They had no idea that when they walked through the door someone would wipe off their feet, another would wash them, and someone would take five minutes of their day to rub lotion on their calloused, blistered, weary feet. I promise you that as those women came in there and were somewhat embarrassed to sit down in those chairs, they were met with some of the kindest eyes and reminders that God loved them. I'll never forget this sweet lady who may have been mid 20's who came in and sat herself down in that chair. She made it through the first station, but when she got to the bowl with the water and someone began to wash her feet tears started streaming down her face. The ladies working the stations couldn't understand what she was saying and so I went over and wrapped my arm around her and asked her why she was upset. Her comment to me will stick with me for the rest of my days. She said, "Jesus did this for His disciples, I don't deserve this." I don't know what her past held, what present situation she found herself in, or where the tears came from exactly. I couldn't pretend to understand all that she was saying, but I did understand that this heart got it. For a few isolated moments in this day, this young gal understood where the service really was coming from. I looked her square in the eye and said, "you are precious to Him and He wanted us to do this for you today."

I won't quickly forget the little lady who came in who was 84 either. Her face wrinkled with years of a life most of us will never ever know. Each wrinkle earned, each bunyon on those feet from miles and miles and miles of life. The sweetest smiles I have ever seen and as I watched a couple of the gals take those fragile yet tremendously strong feet and attempt to wash them through the tears in their eyes it was a sight that touched you to your toenails. It was beautiful!!

Think this picture so represents what I saw so many people do over the past two weeks. You came to a country not your own, you did things that were uncomfortable, that were humbling. You were willing to get dirty, wear yourself out for the sake of someone else, and all the while I saw you smiling.

To my Belpre family, and the other precious precious folks who were willing to join us...I was honored, privileged, and delighted to serve with you. You are precious to my heart and watching you serve these people I have grown to love so much and devote my life to touched me more than you will ever know. Each time you held one of these children, or held a momma while she hurt for her children, every single time you packed a food bag or hammered a nail, every moment that you offered your heart and your self for Jesus you washed His feet with your selfless hearts and I thank you for allowing me to be a part of that.

May God continue to bless your servant hearts. You make me proud to know you and call you my "peeps." Love you bunches!!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Sometimes I Wonder...

how I could ever tell you with my limited vocabulary what a HUGE blessing it has been to have this group here. For the first several days my raw emotions leaked right out my eyeballs as I watched them serve and got my hug tank filled back up and just got to be a part of "community" again. I have learned so much about that word from them. I've learned what my heart believes it is and what my heart believes it isn't.

Sacred are the places where your heart can be real, expose the warts of the soul, and know you'll be loved afterwards. Precious and few are the relationships where your heart can look into another and see reflected back at you, a sincere belief in all you are to become because of the love of Christ.

It's true as my friend Linda so tenderly said, Jen I know it gets dry and can be pretty arid on the mission field. So incredibly true.

But with these sweet people, some of them old friends, some of them sweet hearted servants I just met when they stepped off the plane, God has provided streams of living water for some thirsty hearts.

Don't forget he uses you and I to be what others need. You are the answer to someone's prayer today...their prayer for hope, their prayer for encouragment, their prayer for a different way to live.

My heart is praying today we'll each live like the answer.

Saturday, April 08, 2006


Hey all just a quick note to let you know...MY PEEPS ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Few things are sweeter to my soul than spending time with them and today was a great day. We visited two orphanages, Jovenes en Camino and Good Shepherd. It was lots of smiles and hugs and it was terrific to just get to sit on the bus and hear them sing. For those of us who are down here and don't have the luxury of hearing it often right now, it was glorybump moments.

Anyway, will write more in days to come but for's enough to know they are here!!! that's a blog in itself to me. Good for my heart.

Goodnight all!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

Check It Out...

For all of you who still might be faithfully reading this I apologize. I have been slacking somewhat. Think you go through spells when you feel like you just don't have a lot to write about because it's one of those times in life when your energy is being spent trying to figure it out and there's not much left to expend on trying to share it. Sounds pretty bad I know but I guess that's where I've been.

So I hear I owe my Aunt Ruthann an apology because she's been waiting for such a long time for a new post. So sorry.

Allow me to point you towards some exceptional reading however if you are looking for some. Over the course of the next two weeks while the group is here, the lady I affectionately refer to as Momma Grose, will be posting to a blog called As I get older I'm learning to make less promises and really mean the ones I speak. Here's one you can take to the bank. I promise you, you will treasure her words. She is gifted and she will share with you what the group happenings are in Honduras. Stay tuned.

I'll be posting on here as well throughout the trip but don't want you to miss out on what she'll offer. May you be touched as we attempt to touch these sweet people. Please keep us in your prayers. There are many first timers on this trip and many who have no idea what they think about God. I am so excited to watch how He reveals Himself to them. We covet your prayers.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Coming Soon

Well we ran around today like little chickens with our heads cut off running errands for these 41 people who have signed on to come and be servants in a land that so needs to see them show up. This is the good stuff. It gets me juiced for sure.

I love to think about what God will do with people whose sole purpose for the next two weeks will be to help people who need it. Without the distractions of the rush and demands of home. Without having to go to a 9 to 5 to earn a living. For a week or two the job description will be to "show up." To allow myself to become less important and other people to be of supreme importance. To look into eyes and hearts that hurt and are weary and attempt to enter in to their pain, to sit beside them and offer compassion and hope. A whole host of other things will occur and it will be beautiful to watch and be a part of.

We spent dollars today on wood to build 6 houses for families who right now are sleeping on the ground that is infested with bugs and may or may not have any covering when it rains or the wind blows. Some day very soon some people will show up and tell them that God sent us to build them a house. Regardless of their thoughts about Him they won't mistake where the help came from.

We spent money on two truckloads of food that will feed 200 families for a period of 2 weeks. I can't tell you the number of people I have seen digging in dumpsters for food because they have none and there's not an ounce of money to buy any. Mothers are giving away their children everyday because they can no longer feed them.

We spent money today on wood for a playground for two children's homes that have children who have been abandoned and basically have no one except for the family God has given them through providing the homes they presently live in. They haven't grown up with mass amounts of toys in their toyboxes, or swings outside, or so many of those luxuries. So when these folks show up to build them a playground that is for the sole purpose of them having a good time and realizing that God can just be doggone fun the smiles will abound.

You know what we did today...we spent our time being reminded of some things that I desperately needed reminded of. I remembered today that there's nothing better than being a part of a team with people whose hearts love to serve in this country and will be here soon to do just that.

Please continue to pray for their travels. They leave the States on Saturday, some others come a week from that on Friday the 14 and they leave the 22nd. It will be a great two weeks. Pray that God will be glorified on every worksite, in every word, in every action...that we might make Him look good above all else.

Keep giving to those who need it!! I'll do my best to do the same.