Checking In...

Well I've spent a couple weeks at home just living life near some folks I love a bunch and it has been GOOD for this girls heart. I've sat beside some of the people who remind me without saying a word who I really want to be. I've spent lots of time with my Bible open and my hand just caressing the page as I have sought God in ways different than I ever have before. I've rested. I've read. I've journaled. I've watched the sun rise and I've watched it set. I've listened to the birds make noises and the trees rustle and it has been sacred time.

Today I am going to a Women of Faith Conference in Columbus. As God would have it, some dear saint, has donated a ticket so I can go and be a part of that. I'm going ALL by myself, (I have NEVER done that before and would never have wanted to) but this year it sounded exactly like what I needed to do. Just Him and I. Will sit in a chair all by myself and just listen to Him and soak.

I am relishing in my time with Him right now. Felt like I was parched from the lack of doing so over the past couple of months. I don't know if any of you can relate, but I'm guessing something in that could resonate with a time in your life. Seems as though there are some times in life when you get no heart relief except through those times with Him and Him only. I'm a people girl to the hilt and so it's usually not difficult for me to just feel Him in the middle of all my favorite folks and give me a church setting with whole bunches of people loving Him and I'm in Heaven. Not so right now. It's completely different. I want Him, my Bible, a space in the quiet where I can just hear Him and be with Him. I thought something was really wrong and now I'm just starting to feel like it's way sweet time with Him.

He is faithful. He continues to be so incredibly faithful! I just want to encourage you that the God of the universe can handle your moments of doubt, your months of distance, your questions, your brokenness, your bitterness, your rebellion. All of it. Your God knows how to handle your heart and all that is within it.

I find peace there today! May you do the same.

Blessings abounding on you this day.

Invisibility...

You know it's one of the hardest places to be...that place of invisibility where you feel as though no one notices...notices your effort, notices your advice, notices your presence, notices your behind the scenes diligence, notices what would be missing if you weren't a part of it, notices...well just notices, noone notices.

Makes you think every once in a while that perhaps you should stop offering your effort if no one will notice doesn't it?? Oh come on we've all been there. Well if it doesn't make any difference, then I don't need to ____________, and if matters so little then I'll just show them what happens if I just do nothing. I've said it. I've said it lately even.

And then in this still small voice you know that someone bigger than you and all of them...well He notices. And you're working for Him anyway.

Nicole Johnson does a beautiful job in this short little video of showing the sacredness of invisibility. It is a sacred place to be. May we embrace it as such!!

He notices.

Here's the link http://youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0

Worth the Watch...

Just wanted to alert you to a video I watched this morning that was touching to say the least. Very good. It's a Nicole C Mullen video called "One Touch."

Take a minute today and watch it. We're all dying for a touch in the middle of our broken places. This is a beautiful representation of that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4Zw-9QLlSs

Blessings and Love.

Have you ever wondered how hurting so bad could ever be a part of God's plan for your life...like how to reconcile Him being my "protector" and choosing not to protect me from certain things that have broken my heart...

I'm in this new stage of relationship with God where I have more questions than answers about what following Him all the way to the cross means. I'm sure some of you are very familiar with this place, when God chooses to reveal Himself in harder more difficult ways because deeper requires it. It hurts like heck I've decided...and it's causing me to evaluate so much about what it requires of me to follow Him all the way to the cross.

What does that require when people falsely accuse you... when do you fight for justice and when do you stand silent before your sheerers? Do you ever fight for justice for yourself or are you only to be a voice for justice for others?

Do you speak truth when you know it or do you just wait for God to expose truth in His time? Where do I get in the way of God's timing?

How much pride factors into so much of what I decide to do with my life? Daily where is it hidden from my eyes and so visible to others?

How do you watch a dream die and relinquish it without getting angry or bitter?

If the cross means death and I am supposed to die, then it no longer matters whether I'm right, whether I'm offended, whether I'm hurt, whether I'm applauded, whether it feels good, whether I'm _________ because I'm dead and my "rights" died with it.

it just no longer matters -- but the road to the cross is long and it's hard and it's bloody and it's messy and you sweat and you cry and you struggle and you want to stop and quit and you break and you crumble beneath it - before you ever get to the dying.

So pray that I'll follow Him all the way there, that I'll die to myself...and that in the middle of the journey there that I'll honor Him and that I'll rest knowing that my "desire to please Him does in fact please Him."

no matter how messy it may look along the way.

This I Know....

Just a few things that I KNOW that I KNOW after I've spent a week back in the villages among the people...

I can sit beside the suffering and forget all about what color we are or language we speak and all at once this undeniable bond forms in spite of every difference we share...

Suffering has a way of putting everything back into perspective...

Arms are arms no matter whose they are when the pain is so great that you just need someone to hold you while you cry...

Dirty faces covering up hurting hearts have a way of removing your pretense and pride and I welcome that...

Sharing moments in sacred spaces like these does something that you have no words for...

Jesus lives among the brokenhearted, lowly, humble, and hurting and I see Him more clearly everytime I choose to live among them as well...

I want more than anything in this world to serve them well...