Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Updates...

Alrighty then trying this again today and we'll see what happens...

Well from the middle of September until the middle of October I got to spend some time at home which was WONDERFUL!!! The first week I was there, I spent at Abilene Christian University's lectureships and that was amazing. I posted about that earlier. Then the next week was busy spent helping with a conference that is a collaboration of ladies of faith from many different fellowships called Women of Purpose, which is one of my favorite things to be a part of all year. It has been such a source of healing across what would have normally been hard drawn lines and I love the unity it is helping to accomplish in Christ. So that was great and then I spent a day at the zoo with my family and just got to spend time with people I love a bunch. It was wonderful!!

When I got back all my little men were waiting in a line at the airport with big grins on their faces and that was more than precious. Missed them for sure!! Spent the first two days doing nothing but hugging and kissing on them. I feel sure they were thinking oh for Heavens sake woman stop!! They however obliged with their sweet little smiles and tender little hearts. They are doing soooooooooooo well!!! Marvin and Yovani wanted to show me that they now knew their alphabet. Mario can write his name so well. Francisco is coloring shapes inside the lines and thinks he's hot stuff. Antonio is starting to say words and his little personality is starting to show up in full force. It's awesome to watch them growing and changing and when we sit and talk about how Yovani's anger just doesn't seem present anymore. Marvin is more open to being loved on than he was at first. When we take a look back at the past 4 months or so and how far they've come it's awesome to marvel at the power of God and His goodness. They are certainly testimony to that.

On that note, because they are doing soooo well, we felt as though it was time to take in some more kiddo's who desperately need a place to go. They are living in Casitas, a place we have grown to detest for more reasons than you can count, because it is filled with evil as you've seen me write before. It becomes more clear all the time how much that place needs prayed over. Please please please keep it in your prayers.

So tomorrow we'll be taking in 5 little girls and 1 more little boy. Their pictures are posted below and I'm sure you've seen them on Karen's blog. The first little girl that is with Karen is Cindy and she is 5 years old. The next little girl that is pictured with one of our very good friends, Gina, is Diana and she is 5 as well. We weren't planning on taking this little one but we walked in and it was as if God said to Karen and Gina and I, yep gotta take her and we looked at the lady and said, we'll take 6. Look at her smile!! The little gal that is in the hands of the lady who looks mean as a snake (by the way she is) is Marjorie and she's 2. The little gal in my arms is Katie and she is precious for sure! Then the little gal in the middle of the picture below that is Monica who is 5. And the little guy walking with the lady is Fernando who is 4. He is cute as they come!! One more rotten little grin to put with our mix of ornery boys!! They'll love it!!

Ok so here's how they all fit together. Cindy and Marjorie are sisters. Monica, Katie, and Fernando are brother and sisters. Diana was there by herself.

The great news is that we get to take them but in an effort for me to paint an accurate picture and to not in any way attempt to keep hidden the parts of this that are still horrible and desperately need your prayers allow me to tell you how "choosing" children happens. We walked into the room where a social worker and another employee sit with manila folders full of childrens files and there are scads of them. They bring several children in who live in the casita next to the office and tell us they are sisters who have been horribly abused by their father and need a place to go that will show them love. They are dressed in mens long john shirts that are cut just above the wrist and just above the knee that are supposed to serve as "nightgowns" I guess but it's 2 pm in the afternoon. They are filthy and I'm sure haven't been washed in many many days. They stand in front of you and look and smile and know exactly what's going on and have faces that ask with no words will you take me home today? They leave and you look at more files because they're 10 and 12 and we are trying to stay within certain age limits but everything in you feels horrible that yet again they are not chosen. We walk to the baby cottage and play with those kiddo's and that's more bearable because for the most part they're still pretty clueless about what's going on. So you play and love on them and think, I know you have no idea what's about to happen, but in a few days we're going to come and take you home and we're gonna wash that lice out of your hair and we're going to give you new clothes and life is going to be different. We're gonna teach you about Jesus and you're gonna have new hope for living. ahhhh now those are sweet moments. Then we walk into the little girls cottage where all pairs of eyes are on you and it feels as if the social worker just pulled out her megaphone and one name is called, "CINDY" and every other face in the room falls. Now Cindy's got a smile from ear to ear and that is beautiful, it's just that I can't forget the look on the other 10 girls faces whose name wasn't Cindy. It truly is one of the most torn feelings I've known. Gratitude beyond words that you will be able to impact and touch the lives of some precious chilldren and yet sorrow because you can't logistically take them all. So someone always remains unchosen and regardless of how bad you don't want to be or how much you care you are still a part of that.

I used to think that if I turned my face from the television, or I turned off the news when the horror stories came on about the injustices of the world, or I kept myself in my self-preserving bubble, if I could remove myself from the pain of their world and pretend it wasn't there that it was better. At least for me. I realize now because I see it every single day, that I may turn my head, and keep myself from feeling their pain but it will never ever mean that the injustices aren't real or don't exist, it will just mean that in my own selfishness, I have successfully removed myself from the majority of God's world.

I heard a quote the other day from a guy named Gary Haugan, who is affiliated with International Justice Mission (which I would highly recommend you check out) and he was speaking in reference to the genocide in Rwanda in the 90's where literally hundreds of thousands of people were killed, and they went in to help investigate and change the situation there and he said something to the effect of, "In moments of disaster or crisis, I no longer find myself asking where is God? Most often now I find myself on my knees asking where are God's people?" I will not quickly forget those words or my responsibility in them.

Am reading alot and thinking I guess right now at this juncture in my journey about our part to play in the injustice of the world. My brother Joe recommended some books to me a year or so ago and I just now got a chance to read them by Brian McClaren. It's a trilogy and the first one is called A New Kind of Christian and they have stretched my head and my heart so much about what our role really is on this planet. Is it just to get to Heaven, to be saved from damnation cause if so it leaves us floundering pretty much for the rest of life. Or is it bigger, way more complex than that, and a whole lot more self-sacrificing than we would care to believe. Is it about saving people from all sorts of things and situations and allowing ourselves to become more like Jesus every single day. They're a great read, I would highly recommend them. You may not agree with everything in them, but they will make you think and rethink much of what you have taken for granted.

Alright well I've posted a major long one here...guess that's the price you pay for not blogging for a month. Thank you all so much for your love and support. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as more precious little souls come in tomorrow to call this place home. Pray for the little guys too that have been here and gotten pretty used to our time and attention, it will be difficult for a little bit for all of us to adjust to having to share.

Much love to all!! Continue to be blessed as you are a blessing!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Breaks my heart and makes it smile all at the same time...
To whom much is given much is expected.
I am so excited for all of you, and can't wait to come meet those precious faces!!

Kay Grose said...

Dear Merciful Father, In all of the ways that You are You, we ask You to pour out a waterfall of fresh blessings on Casa de Esperanza and every child and caregiver there. Fill that home with Your Presence in abundance, fill those minds with the knowledge of Your Words of Truth, fill those hearts with the unmistakeable warmth of Your matchless love and may each ear be bent in obedience to Your mighty voice. For all that You've done, we will thank You; for all that You're going to do; for all that you've promised and all that You are is ALL that has carried us through...Jesus we thank You. Amen and amen.

Lori said...

my hearts is joyful and heavy..but remember "your" star fish! You are helping one at a time..all is impossible. But look back that a group of brothers who's names where called and the blessing you have been. Can't wait to meet these little ones!!!
I will be praying for all those whos name was not called that God will protect them!
Love you Jen!

Anonymous said...

Those kids better be ready for Tio JT to come and love on them, because they have no choice.

Love you guys. Stay strong for those 11 kids.

Anonymous said...

Wow they are all sooo adorable...I cant wait to meet them! Tell the boys i said Hi and that I miss them sooo much! Love you all! - sam