Sitting At His Feet

I read this excerpt yesterday on the web and it has just stuck with me so much over the last 24 hours. It spoke to so much of what I was feeling I think as I was getting distracted by some of what's going on with life. Truth of the matter is I want to walk this thing out exactly right as I leave everyone and everything I know and take on this really big task of helping to raise 20 little girls to know God. (I know I don't very high expectations of myself now do I??) The reality is that I'm gonna be stumbling all over the place at moments and it is gonna look far more messy than it does cleaned up and just right sometimes. I'm learning that's ok. Here's the big deal, I don't want to miss out on the joy of this journey with Jesus because of all the preparations or the emotions or the other "stuff." I want to walk this out with Him.

"When my attitude starts to wobble, I know it's because I'm distracted. I don't realize how much I'm distracted, though, until the axis starts grinding and heating up. Like Martha, I get frustrated, irritated, and sometimes stomping-mad-tell-somebody-off angry.

I know a wheel is starting to fall off when the meal I'm preparing becomes more important than the people I'm preparing it for. When my work becomes more important than the family I'm working for. When a point I'm making becomes more important than the person I'm making it to. That's how I can tell I've lost the axis. When I lose sight of what's more important. When I lose a sense of the sacredness of another human being, especially the human beings closest to me. I don't want to live in the kitchen of religious activity, distracted with all my preparations..... I want to live at the Savior's feet, gazing into His eyes, listening to His words, and seeing as many windows as He'll show me.

At His feet is where we learn to pause at those windows. It starts by loving Him and longing to hear his voice. When we're slaving away in some kitchen where the pots and pans are clanging, it's hard to hear that voice. But when we're at His feet and our heart is still, we can hear Him even when He whispers."

Lately, the "things I had to do" and the "things I had to go through to get there" got way more important than the One all this is for and I lost the axis. The fundraising became more important than the house being built for His glory. The sadness and hurt got more important than the gratitude for the gifts He gave me in the people it hurts to leave. The sacrifice got more important than the One we sacrifice for and the One we never "out sacrifice." On and on the list could go. So true, when we don't sit at His feet and live there we lose the axis.

I wanna live there. God help us to live there, listening, so it only takes a whisper for us to hear Your voice.